I healed my own chronic pain
As many of you may know I healed my own 3,5yr lasting chronic pain even though doctors said I had to accept that it might never get better. I didn’t accept that and I started my journey of learning the body myself and said “fuck it I’ll do it myself!”.
Well, I did, I found out about trigger points, I started treating all my own trigger points in my body and within 1,5 month about 80% of my pain complaints were completely gone!!
I couldn’t believe it!
After 3,5 years of pain, so much pain!!
I had seen SO MANY (highly educated) practitioners, like the best of the best!
And nobody knew how to fix me, and here I was, a travel agent, who didn’t know shit about the body, healing herself with a triggerpoint self-help book!
This was the moment I decided I needed to go help people with chronic pain because I felt that they, just like me, weren’t getting the help they needed. And I thought that was ridiculous!
So, I quit working as a travel agent. Went back to school, study all about the body and opened up my own massage and trigger point treatment practice. I also got certified as a fitness trainer and personal trainer and started working at a gym.
At that time, I didn’t know yet about TMS/MindBody connection etc. I was very much in my logical mind and very physical focused.
Well, I was in for a treat. Thinking I could just surpass feeling my emotions and work on my mental health….
You can force and manipulate your body to be painfree from chronic pain. Yes you can. But if you don’t actually work on the real underlying cause, it will just come back to you in other ways…
My body kept trying to grab my attention…it was SCREAMING at me!
Yes, my 3,5 year lasting chronic back pain, neck pain and shoulder pain were completely gone.
But in the years after that, new things got thrown at me on a regular. Things I got thrown on my plate/was diagnosed with, were:
- broken foot
- Pain glute muscle after deadlifting in the gym which stayed painful for about 2,5-3 years
- 1 year pain walking because of overworked Achilles tendon / Achilles Tendinitis
- 5 years of chronic fatigue varying from light to very heavy / adrenal fatigue.
The doctor never knew what to do. At some point it got so bad that after getting up in the morning and brushing my teeth I had to go back to bed to sleep for some more hours because just brushing my teeth felt like I ran an entire marathon.
- Right wrist pain
- For about 2,5 years, various vague undiagnosed health complaints.
– a weird and at some point extremely painful feeling exactly in 1 spot somewhere behind my breastbone,
– pressure on trachea,
– difficulties breathing and breathing in general also felt very weird (startled awake at night multiple times because I wasn’t getting enough air as well),
– regularly on deep breathing a very uncomfortable scary feeling pulled through the whole torso which was a very unpleasant feeling and caused me to be scared of taking deep breaths.
– Sometimes in total resting state yet a very present heartbeat.
– Sometimes my body was shaky.
– Feeling restless.
– Sometimes out of nowhere dizzy or off-balance.
At some point it all got so bad that almost every weekend I went to the weekend hospital emergency room because I didn’t know how to get through the weekend because I had so much difficulties breathing and pressure on my chest.
And I also got really scary weird stabbing pains in my body, best way I could describe it is like a long sword that stabbed through my ENTIRE torso feeling sort of like a lightning strike&speed. It scared the shit out of me and it felt so out of this world, that I really thought this was it, I really thought I was going to die, because all that I was experiencing felt so out of this world and so abnormal.
And not any doctor knew what it was or how to help me.
And so, because I seriously thought I was going to die, I asked myself if there was anything else I still wanted to do in life before I would go and I also started arranging my funeral insurance etc.
My answer to that question was btw that I couldn’t think of anything I still wanted to do before I die, I only wanted to continue to help people until I would die.
- stomach pains and digestion problems and very present heartbeat feeling in stomach
- Epstein Barr Virus
- broken middle finger
- eye infection that comes back all the time.
There was no explanation for all my symptoms
I have had many examinations over all these years and seen many specialists. Of my lungs, my heart, my esophagus, my intestines etc etc. But the results were always that it all looked good and healthy.
One of my doctors said he felt like the symptoms I was having were common with panic and he recommends taking Oxazepam for a week, if that improved some of my breathing and throbbing then the cause may be panic related.
At that time I wasn’t into MindBody perspectives so I totally dismissed that it could be panic related and I felt not taken serious because I was having REAL PHYSICAL complaints! I did take the medication and it did not help me.
Not one specific treatment that has healed any of the symptoms.
So, despite all of that, I am still alive today. And healthy!
I became best friends with the body, as you can see in the header image 😉
Although I am back in health and all those symptoms are gone, I gotta say, there hasn’t been one specific treatment that has healed any of those symptoms.
My entire health situation just started changing the moment I learned MindBody perspectives.
The moment I started learning how repressed emotions could cause physical health problems.
The moment I started becoming aware of the power of my mind.
The moment I became aware that I was spiritual and not physical.
The moment I stopped limiting myself with my mind and started doing more of what felt aligned with me.
The moment I started living more from the heart.
The moment I started listening to my body and its feelings.
The moment I started caring about my mental and emotional health.
THAT just made the difference.
The switch in approaching chronic pain complaints
And so, looking back now, I am aware that all the physical health complaints I had were just TMS / MindBody related, eventhough they felt VERY VERY VERY physical!
Over the years after becoming aware of TMS and other MindBody perspectives I obviously also changed the way I worked with my clients.
First I only treated people physically, later I combined the MindBody / TMS theory with physical treatments, and the last years I have only been helping people with the emotional, mental and spiritual part. (the physical is still a part of it ofcourse because feeling happens in the body and movement of the body makes energy/emotions move and such).
One of the things I’ve learned from all of this is that you can’t force and manipulate things to be a certain way. I mean, you can, your mind is THAT powerful that you CAN force yourself to be painfree with ANY treatment (read about placebo effect).
But, you can’t keep ignoring feelings, your body. Which all these symptoms are, they are just feelings, in the body, just energy, sensations.
And we (the mind) like to categorize/label these feelings/sensations as “pain”, “tension”, “pressure”, “fatigue”, “angry”, “sad”, “happy” etc etc etc.
But they are all just energy. And energy is just to be experienced and then it will move on.
But that’s not what we do.
We resist those feelings. We block the energy flow by resisting.
If you don’t pay attention to your inner world and to the feelings you experience in your body, if you ignore it, your body will just start screaming louder and louder, until you are forced to pay attention to it.
Energy needs to flow! And the body (including its emotion/feeling sensations) wants to be appreciated instead of ignored!